therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
