I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
