my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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