i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
