So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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