...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
