ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
