You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
