where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
