His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
