Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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