She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
