Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize