Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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