It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm passing your future prison.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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