did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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