Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You took a bar mat shot.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
