Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize