where does the pee come out of this thing
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
