Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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