dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
