wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
