my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
