it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
