hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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