yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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