How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
