North Korea, Best Korea!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
