We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
