I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
