There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
