Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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