My room smells like vodka and shame
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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