i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
