Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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