i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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