At least make sure they are 18
Why
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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