Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
