I've blown a few things in my day
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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