omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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