Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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