Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
