ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Randomize
