Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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