PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
