a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
