I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
