the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
