I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
