Three words: puerto rican gang bang
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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